Post by heathermarie on Mar 31, 2006 11:19:28 GMT -5
My name is heather and I am a recovering drug addict. I was active in my addiction for nearly 18 years. I tried nearly every drug out there except Heroin and PCP, directly, anyway. It wasn't until at the age of 29, when I was introduced to Meth (ICE) that I was beaten by my addiction.
I rememer when I took my first hit. A friend of mine in the room at the time, turned on his his heels and left stating that he didn't want to see it. When I asked him later what he was talking about he told me that I had just tried the most addictive drug out there. I laughed and said that I don't get addicted to anything. Boy, I couldn't have been more wrong.
After my first hit, I was up for three days. I was not tired at all what so ever. I also noticed that I had absolutely no appetite. Within my first week of using meth, I lost five pounds as if it were just butter melting away. I have never been an overweight person, but always carried just a few extra pounds. However, my body image was very low. The quick weight loss made me want more. Eventually, I lost 10 lbs by the end of the first month. All together I went from 138 lbs (which is healthy weight for my body type) to a steady 110. There was one point where I was 105. I looked like death walking. My skin was gray, my hair was falling out, my teeth hurt, but I thought that I looked great.
My use of Meth went from 8/2003 to 1/2005. I endured a lot of drama and trauma. I lost jobs, was unemployable. (believe me...people can see the addiction on you that you think you hide so well) I lost my car, my apartment and my family disowned me. It was the right thing for them to do even though, I later discovered it hurt them very badly to do so. But, I had to hit bottom. I had to want to get help.
I managed to land a killer job remodeling houses and making GREAT money. I was able to live in the houses I was working on. In 3 months time I made over $10,000 but had nothing to show for it. My boss was on to me and gave me one chance to clean my act up. It didn't work. Facing unemployment and homelessness a second time, I threw in the towel. I agreed to check into a treatment center. That was on 1/28/2005. I have been clean ever since.
Was it easy? No. It was the hardest thing to ever put down. BUT I DID IT! I haven't looked back. But, you can't do it alone.
You have to change your playgrounds, playmates and playthings. I left behind everyone I knew at the time. I left the area I was living. I did have enough things to fit a one-bedroom apt in storage at a friends house, but I left it all behind. It's only material things that can be replaced, my life cannot.
Do I think about using at times, yes, but I remember all the horrible things I witnessed as a meth addict. I am reminded of how insane that lifestyle was and remember that I don't want to return to that lifestyle under any circumstances.
If you want help, it's out there. If you want to quit - seek help.
I rememer when I took my first hit. A friend of mine in the room at the time, turned on his his heels and left stating that he didn't want to see it. When I asked him later what he was talking about he told me that I had just tried the most addictive drug out there. I laughed and said that I don't get addicted to anything. Boy, I couldn't have been more wrong.
After my first hit, I was up for three days. I was not tired at all what so ever. I also noticed that I had absolutely no appetite. Within my first week of using meth, I lost five pounds as if it were just butter melting away. I have never been an overweight person, but always carried just a few extra pounds. However, my body image was very low. The quick weight loss made me want more. Eventually, I lost 10 lbs by the end of the first month. All together I went from 138 lbs (which is healthy weight for my body type) to a steady 110. There was one point where I was 105. I looked like death walking. My skin was gray, my hair was falling out, my teeth hurt, but I thought that I looked great.
My use of Meth went from 8/2003 to 1/2005. I endured a lot of drama and trauma. I lost jobs, was unemployable. (believe me...people can see the addiction on you that you think you hide so well) I lost my car, my apartment and my family disowned me. It was the right thing for them to do even though, I later discovered it hurt them very badly to do so. But, I had to hit bottom. I had to want to get help.
I managed to land a killer job remodeling houses and making GREAT money. I was able to live in the houses I was working on. In 3 months time I made over $10,000 but had nothing to show for it. My boss was on to me and gave me one chance to clean my act up. It didn't work. Facing unemployment and homelessness a second time, I threw in the towel. I agreed to check into a treatment center. That was on 1/28/2005. I have been clean ever since.
Was it easy? No. It was the hardest thing to ever put down. BUT I DID IT! I haven't looked back. But, you can't do it alone.
You have to change your playgrounds, playmates and playthings. I left behind everyone I knew at the time. I left the area I was living. I did have enough things to fit a one-bedroom apt in storage at a friends house, but I left it all behind. It's only material things that can be replaced, my life cannot.
Do I think about using at times, yes, but I remember all the horrible things I witnessed as a meth addict. I am reminded of how insane that lifestyle was and remember that I don't want to return to that lifestyle under any circumstances.
If you want help, it's out there. If you want to quit - seek help.